Christmas is traditionally a time, for most, of family, food, and good will to all men. Shopping centers and town halls have queues leading down the street with eager children and irritated parents waiting to see numerous Santa Clause. The season of good will is made into a frenzy of toy advertisements in the media and almost unprecedented demand by kids for the latest toy. Children are kept in almost mortal fear of not being visited by Father Christmas, and yet are expected to go to bed on time. Why!? From a fathers point of view, I am encouraged to tell my son that if he is naughty, Father Christmas won’t leave any presents for him. What makes matters worse is the fact we don’t have a chimney in our house, so I have make the excuse that he comes through the letter box… How preposterous! I realise that I’m starting to sound like a Grinch but hear me out.
By following the Buddhist moral code (set out in the “What I’m doing and why” page), I am encouraged not to lie. These are not hard and fast rules like the ten commandments, I won’t be damned for eternity if I break it, although I will suffer the consequences later due to Karma. So why is it we’re encouraged to lie to our children every year like clock work until we deem them old enough to know the reality? Surely this is violating the precept of false speech. Moreover, what happens when our children learn the truth? They’ve been told for years that a jolly man with a large belly (if you adopt the classical image) comes into their homes creeps around for a while, eats their food then leave them a little present. Then one day, they’re either told or find out by other means that it was actually their parents who were doing this. I can’t imagine the crushing blow this must be. That’s because I don’t remember rigidly believing in Father Christmas. I accepted his existence, but didn’t await him in the lounge Christmas Eve night. I don’t remember having that crushing blow that Father Christmas was made up to make me behave. I just seamed to know… Whether it was because my parents never forced it on me, or if because I was just wise to the scheme, I don’t know.
So here I am, caught in a dilemma it seams: Lie to my three year old’s fragile, flowering ego, or ignore the parental tradition and let my son be oblivious to it all. Fortunately, neither. My son seams to be as wise as his father (the apple never falls far from the tree). Several weeks ago, we went to the local Christmas fair. My father in law was playing Father Christmas, and we were expected to visit him. We queued up with the rest of the parents and restless children. It was then that my son made me proud: “We’re going to see Granddad, aren’t we daddy!” he said at the top of his voice. He already knew that this wasn’t the real deal. What makes it better is that he knew last year when he was two and a half year old! He walked in to Santa’s Grotto looked at the man sat royally in his chair clad in red and white. “Hello Grandad” he said. I don’t know how he knows, but he does. It seems my job is made that little bit easier…
In reality, I don’t think this is going to have bad repercussions Karma wise. I think if we take the innocence of Childhood away, they grow up to early. So we have decided that if our son mentions Father Christmas, we will not dismiss it. However, if he realises that it is not so, we will let him believe that too. After all, he may be 3, but he is his own person. I’d like to wish you all a very merry Christmas, or as they say in the US, Happy Holidays!